ANIMALS OF THE OCEAN, IN PARTICULAR THE GIANT SQUID

Get this book, along with our three other Haggis-on-Whey reference books, with the Haggis-on-Whey Bundle.

Introducing the third installment in a proposed series of 377 reference books, all written by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey, a team of highly energized and deeply focused scientists with over sixty-seven combined years of experience at their command, including six months spent lifting awkwardly-sized boxes.

Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid, advances many heretofore unexplored discoveries and opinions, including squid dating dos and don'ts, why squid are not at all able to watch television in black and white, the ways in which people who don't know any better might think fish are not animals, the long-term effects of salt water on musical theater, and also the adventure of Gunther.

Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. She is a world-renowed and much-feared expert on just about everything. With her husband Benny, she has traveled the world over, and has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first-hand. She has written or will soon write over 147 books.

Interior pages are full color and illustrated without reserve. This book does not contain a warning label, but if it did, it would advise readers to enjoy its pages only in small and furtive doses, such as while waiting your turn at tetherball.

Praise for the Haggis-on-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance Series:

“This is a book of lies! Deceits! Utter nonsense! Which is precisely why it’s on my gift list …What can I say? It works. Of all the gift books I showed my renegade 60-year-old sister (she’s much older), this is the one she wants. I suspect it was the guide to shark religions that did it.”
— Ketzel Levine, NPR

“In its tone and design, to say nothing of the sturdiness of its typefaces, Haggis-on-Whey nails the authoritarian aesthetic of 1950s textbooks. Most important, it is very, very silly.”
—The Paris Review

Dispraise for the Haggis-on-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance Series:

“Unbelievably poor!”: “Actually NO star would be the choice. What a disappointment!! There is absolutely nothing humorous or informative on any page! I wonder about the sanity of the author. Absurd nonsense with no redeeming humorous value is a terrible waste of good paper. I agree with the editorial review: Keep this away from children and anyone else you care about!”
—Amazon Reviewer (1/5 Stars)

“I don’t get it!!!”: “This is by far the most bewildering and inane children’s book i have ever encountered!! I just finished reading it with my 9 year old and was so fed up with it that I felt compelled to post this message. I honestly cannot believe what the earlier reviewers have posted here. It is nothing like what they have written - clearly they are shills for the publisher or the authors! This is a ridiculous book and not at all appropriate for children and possibly only good for post-graduate intellectuals who might find this humor and sarcasm funny. It is such a disturbing waste of paper that I won’t even be donating this book to his school library! Don’t buy this book!”
—Amazon Reviewer (1/5 stars)

“Teenage Sarcasm”: “A silly mocking attack on science.”
—Amazon Reviewer (1/5 stars)

“Failed Attempt to Be Clever”: “This book surprised me very much.. when i read a book I expect to learn something or at least be entertained… I kept looking for the purpose and/or message of this book…I found it meaningless/pointless and not even based on truth. I guess the authors were trying to be clever.... it did not strike me as clever. I am sorry to say I found no value… not for kids, not for adults… not for anyone.”
—Amazon Reviewer (1/5 stars)